I was browsing AspieCentral tonight.  I usually stick to WrongPlanet, but they are doing a site overhaul.  So I was browsing and saw a thread about scars posted by a young woman.  I thought of posting, but I’m tired of explaining and trying to figure out how it is that I harm myself.  I think I know why anyway.  Because I am disconnected from my body somehow.  It is an object to me – one that I am trapped inside.   When I get angry I lash out, but in my case that would be lash in – like banging my fists against an encasement.

I have to try to take better care of myself.  Just today I had a meltdown and was crying in the street.  I thought I would cut my arms when I got home, but I had calmed down by then.  Thank God … it would be the last thing I need right now.

I need to stay focused on that connection between me and my body and not objectify myself in anger.  Easy to say …